All I hear these days about relationships is “I don’t care”, or “I hate feelings”. People are afraid to feel anything at all. They are nervous when they actually have to go beneath the surface and work on something. This is something that disgusts me about our generation. We are only surface level, and everything is materialistic. Instead of caring about other people we care more about ourselves and being narcissistic with our selfies. So naturally, these horrible emotional coping skills have only brought us to have more relationships.
Instead of having an open, honest, relationship with communication it’s all about this game. A game of who can care less, who got the last word, and who did what. I think people have forgotten the real meaning of a relationship and what it entails. These are reasons that we can’t have a healthy relationship.
- Poor Coping Skills
You’re a human – you should be thankful for having real, deep emotions. It is what sets us apart from any other animal. We have empathy, faith, love even instead of just hunger cravings and the need to reproduce. If you really don’t want emotions, you’d end up like some emotionless dictator. If you didn’t have emotions, you’d be an unevolved human.
- Materialism
Normally, people use things and love people. Our generation likes to do the opposite, and people get hurt in the process. Since when did a designer brand become more important than a person? Do you really love that purse more than your best friend? Do you cherish your cell phone more than your boyfriend? Ask yourself. Millennials are all about their expensive makeup brand, designer clothes, yet we throw people out like no other.
- Selfishness
Millennials get the award for being the most selfish of any generation. Don’t get me wrong it is important to look out for yourself, but our generation only looks after ourselves and couldn’t care less about other people.. If people stopped looking in the mirror and/or selfies, and more at other people, we would be able to have better relationships. We could understand what the other person is going though. Haven’t we all heard the saying “don’t judge someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes?” We should probably try that.
- Social Media
We are cursed with social media. Yes sometimes it’s nice to watch a makeup tutorial on IG, but statistically social media is ruining relationships. Of last years divorces, 60% percent of people said Facebook played a role in it. It makes sense, your boyfriend posts a pic with a girl and you immediately think the worst, suspect he’s cheating, stock her like crazy, only to find out he’s known this chick since elementary school. Social media has given us new avenues to cheat, but it has also given us new ways to taste the burn of jealousy and insecurity,
- Our Don’t Care Attitude
This is the number one saying I hear after someone is “done” with someone. “I don’t care”, or “it’s whatever”. No, it’s not whatever and yes, you do care, or else you wouldn’t have said anything at all. People are hurt and broken and instead of dealing with the pain, we put on this front acting like we are 100% okay. Posting on IG the latest travel pic, or tearing it up with their “squad”. Since when was it not ok to be not okay? Unresolved emotions are going to cause a lot more heartache later if they are not dealt with.
- Hookup Culture
When you look into exactly what hookup culture is, its using people for our own desires. Instead of taking someone out on a date, and getting to know their personality; seeing them as a person who has hopes, dreams, and feelings, we are just getting out of the relationship what we want. We couldn’t care less what that his or her major is, or what he or she does for a living. We just looking to please ourselves out of the fling. Isn’t that pretty disheartening?
Our generation definitely has it the hardest when it comes to relationships. I mean how would we know any different? With the divorce rate so high, I don’t think a lot of us have even seen a healthy, functional, relationship. But still that can’t be an excuse as to why we are labeled “broken” and “crazy” and be completely incapable of commitment There are so many positive things about our generation, we should use these to make our relationships stronger than any generation before us.
Featured image via BRUNO EMMANUELLE on Unsplash
Indeed, the aforementioned reasons in this article are in part the reason for dysfunctional relationships nowadays, but not the primary reason being that people have been selfish or narcissistic all along. The problem is generic gender equality as opposed gender equality by having separate but equal gender roles wherein one complements the other.
For example, if you have a business partner and you share the same expertise in marketing, finance, development, and manufacturing, then what do you need each other for and your tolerance of one another may be very short. However, if one party is good at marketing and finance, and the other party manufacturing and development then you find a way to coexist simply because you need each other. It’s just common sense. If you add to it the fact that nowadays people with professional careers often have to relocate with their jobs, makes a long term relationships difficult or near impossible.
Moreover, in the 50’s only one spouse had a career and so today with both spouses having careers your only option is to find someone permanently local as opposed to being able to use the entire country to find that special someone and then relocating and making a life together.