We spent our lives in search of each other. We fell in love fast and into marriage hard. We thought back then that our lives were going to be perfect. We thought that we had reached the end and nothing could get better. And then you cheated. It left me lost and alone. It left me wondering which way to turn next. It left me with so many questions that have gone unanswered.
What made you so cold?
Looking at the carnage, it looks as if a tornado has plowed through. Our lives were running smooth, the tides had calmed and we were looking onto the horizon with hope. The next moment we were bracing for the impact, watching the winds pick up and destroying everything in their path. There was no warning, no time to run and hide; it was on us before we knew what was happening. You came in with a rage and took out everything in your path. Including me.
What changed your mind?
Our home looks like a reflection of us in a shattered mirror. It is broken, with cracks pulling us apart while glue barely holds us together. Jagged pieces lie all around, waiting to cause more damage. While we can be pieced together, everyone will always see what is on the surface. Nothing will ever look right to the naked eye and the image of us is unable to be repaired. Everyone will know we are just another broken object, waiting to be taken away.
Where did our love go?
You forgot our vows and the day we said: “I do”. You forgot our hopes and the future of our children. You forgot about your family the night you left your wedding ring on the nightstand and chose a night of fun. You chose something fresh and exciting versus working on something you spent so long to build. You chose a new woman for the time being because she gave you the attention you desperately sought. You chose something new and exciting instead of fighting for everything you had worked for during the past seven years. There was no choice given in this matter. You did this.
Where can we go from here?
You say that you are sorry and need forgiveness, yet you are still seeking someone new. You say that you will always be there for the children that you so desperately wanted in life, but still seek a life without responsibilities. You say that you will change and that the rage will never be seen again, yet you have done nothing to repair the damage that you have caused. You say that you deserve a second chance, yet you haven’t found a way to prove that you deserve one. Your words are full of threats, yet no actions are followed. Your words are full of lies, yet no way to predict if they will ever be true again. Your words are hurtful to the core, but in the end, they are only going to cause you harm.
When did you become so cold?
What was the moment that you chose to walk away? When did you see our love come undone beyond repair? What was it that she said to make her look so much more appealing than a life with your family? What makes you think that we can go back to a time before your selfish act? What makes you think that we can ever be okay again? What made you so cold to our future that you had to walk out on your own?
Featured image via Jonathan Borba on Unsplash
