As our lives continue there are events that happen within them and shape us. Some make us, others break us. It’s not easy to figure out what to do or where we’re going. It’s hard to get a grasp on who we want to be in that not so distant future. The pressures put on us by society, family, and even ourselves don’t make it easier.
In therapy, I learned that I needed to bring out the inner leader in myself. I never thought I would hear those words coming from someone. I truly believed myself never to have those qualities or to be able to lead anything. I’ve spent my entire life living behind everything as a form of protection.
During the session, we did an exercise. It became an eye-opening experience and lesson for me. I was able to grow into a better person because of it though and I’m thankful for the chance to have done it. Honestly, the only way we can move forward is to conquer what’s in our way even if that means taking a step back to the past.
My therapist talked about all of us having a chair where we put things. It’s built and filled until often it topples over or we can no longer sit on it. Most of the time we put things we don’t want to deal with there because we don’t believe we’re capable of tackling those issues. We are kind of frozen in who we were when those ‘things’ happened.
The first step was to picture a room, followed by a chair. Once we got that part down it was time to pull away the curtain to reveal the chair 100%. This entire part reminded me of a time capsule. I subconsciously had made my chair a long time ago and covered it up until a time came where I needed to dig it up.
I pictured a dusty chair with cobwebs from side to side. The chair itself had red fabric and its frame gold with detailed designs that seemed too wild to tame. Yet this chair before me was empty, unused, and cold. It made me turn away and close the door to the scene I envisioned. I felt super unsure and confused about what I had seen.
The next step was, to be honest about what I saw with myself. So, after a few minutes, I realized a valuable piece of information. It felt like a betrayal to who I truly was, I didn’t like the chair I saw; the truth was I didn’t want that to be my chair.
I am confident, strong, and ambitious. I have goals I want to accomplish and dreams that will become realities. It dawned on me that being a leader has always been a part of me because as my own person, I am my own leader.
After acknowledging that, it was time to make a change. I think by this point I realized how important this all was. There are so many of us who are piling that chair we have or ignoring its existence when we no longer need to. For myself, I decided then what my mind was to become; a castle. It seemed fitting in a way to have a castle for my mind. In a way, we all are our own kingdoms.
So, it was time to refurbish that chair. I went back to that vision I crafted in therapy. I cleaned off that chair and moved into a new room and out of the dungeon.
If my mind was a castle and this chair belonged in one of the most important rooms to rule a kingdom, who ruled this kingdom? Of course, I had to stop denying what I always knew. It couldn’t be anyone else but me.
It took a long time to get to this place in my life but I’m here now. I’m in a place where I can own my past, my present, and my future. So if you’re at a place in your life where you believe you can sit in that chair, do it. It’s time to stop being our own worst enemy.
Put on that crown, sit on your throne, and rule.
Featured image via Tyler Nix on Unsplash
