When we are young and first starting to learn about our sexual abilities, things can get rather… awkward. The first time you expose yourself to someone else and get naked in bed is never easy. You have to reminisce through the questions of “Do I look good?” “Are they pleased?” or “Am I doing this right!?” So, with an already uncomfortable and scary situation, what isn’t better than to make it worse with an embarrassing moment? Here is my super embarrassing sex story.
Now, this story isn’t about intercourse exactly, but it is about the first time my boyfriend went down on me. Again, this can be super uncomfortable at first! It is definitely weird to have a guy with his face in your cooch for the first time. However, I made the situation so much worse than it needed to be.
I am a shy person, especially at the beginning of my relationship when it came to anything sexual. In fact, it took me a long time to even get into the bed with my boyfriend. Thank God he is a patient man. Therefore, because of this, I was super awkward about the first time he wanted to go down on me.
So here it is, we are finally in bed and things are getting steamy, as they do when people’s endorphins start to rise and we feel the need to touch. After a bit of kissing and feeling up, my boyfriend starts to leave a trail of kisses from my chest, down to my stomach, so my lower abdomen, and down, down, down.
I remember squeezing my body and feeling my shoulder turtle because I was scared! I mean, what if I wasn’t what he expected? Nevertheless, he starts to go down on me, so clearly he wasn’t as worried as I was.
After a little bit of time, things are going well. I am feeling good, he is enjoying himself (I think), and there seems to be no problems! Until my stomach started to do that thing. You know that thing it does when you have gas stuck in your intestines that pinches and hurts until it gets released? Yea, that thing.
However, I tried to ignore it! I tried to fight the pain because I was so not ruining this moment, until I did just that, I ruined the moment. Without even realizing it, the gas escaped and my boyfriend got a mouthful of what I assume to be something not enjoyable anymore. Yes, you read correctly, I farted on my boyfriend’s face when he went down on me for the first time.
This was one of the most embarrassing things I have ever done. Worse than my skirt zipper breaking and it falling down in front of my uncle, worse than when I peed my pants in front of my friends from laughing too hard, worse than throwing up in the middle of a group of people in a barn party. Yes, it was so much worse. Although I felt embarrassed about this, my boyfriend luckily forgave me, and now 5 years later he is still here. But I haven’t ever farted on his face again.
So if you’re being hard on yourself about something that went down between the sheets with your significant other, rest assured you can overcome it just like I did.
Featured image via Claudia van Zyl on Unsplash
