As we grow and experience life, we change. Our likes, dislikes, emotions, and expectations change. We grow up. We mature. And sometimes, other people do not like that. They may tell us that we have changed in a bad way, when in reality, we have just become the people we’re supposed to be. Do not feel sorry for becoming the person who you are meant to become. You do not have to please everyone.
I have learned over the last few months that not everyone is meant to stay in your life forever. Yes, every person you come in contact with has a role to play in your life. But those roles do not last forever, and you do not have to feel greedy about taking the lessons a person teaches you and walking away from that person. People do grow apart from each other. Whether you have known someone for your whole life, for ten years, or for a few months, it is still OK to walk away.
Not everyone is going to agree with the person you are becoming, and you have to understand that your sanity and mental health is more important than making other people happy. You have to remember that you come first. You cannot begin to help other people be happy if you are not happy yourself. You have to continue to show yourself self-love in order to keep yourself together.
Some relationships are not meant to be. Toxic relationships are the biggest ones you should break. Whether your toxic relationship is with your family or with friends, it is not worth keeping because it will make you lose yourself as a person. And take it from me; I have cut a lot of toxic people out of my life lately. I have lost myself a few times before I even realized what was happening, and trying to rebuild myself afterwards took a lot out of me.
Do not be afraid to cut ties with family if they are toxic to you. You will feel much better if you do. Yes, you may still have to deal with them at family get-togethers, but you do not have to feel obligated to socialize with them, other than saying “hello” and being a civilized human being. Cutting toxic people out of your life does not give you the right to act rude and disrespectful. But it does give you the right to simply say “hello” and then go on about your business.
You are meant to be your own person, not who other people want you to be. You always come first. After you comes everybody else. Take care of yourself, your life, and your sanity. You will feel much better if you live that way. You will begin to find yourself again, and you will start to love life again. After trying to make other people happy for so long and losing yourself in the process, finding yourself can feel like a long road, but it is worth it.
I have lost myself, attempted to re-find myself, and ended up losing myself again. But when I say it is possible to find yourself again, I mean it. I have changed a lot about my life in order to find myself again. Through all of these changes, however, I could not be happier. I may not be exactly where I want to be in life, but I am working on getting to where I want to be, and I am finding myself along the way.
Featured image via Kristopher Roller on Unsplash
